Bangkok, Thigh-Land


Oops we did it again. Bangkok, a destination that has never been on my travel list landed in my inbox in November 2016, courtesy of #TheNoz. We all know who that is, right? I never say no to travel, well except for Resorts and Island holidays. NO THANKS. We made bookings immediately and that was it, New Years Eve in Bangkok, YEZZIR!! 2016 New Years Eve I spent in Addis Ababa pain; cuts and bruises all over my body following a car accident that had taken place a few hours earlier. LOL! My life is like a comic book as I often say.


#TheNoz... Beautiful isnt she
 Moving on

30 December Noz & I boarded at OR Tambo, landing in Nairobi for our connecting flight. Straight to the boarding gate, we had only one hour to connect. There was a long queue of people who claimed to having been at the airport for  over 36 hours. We could not be certain of what was happening as airline staff were mute on the subject. Upon checking our boarding passes we realised our connecting flight was due 4 hours after the scheduled time, indicating that the airline was aware of the delay before we left South Africa but failed to warn us.

 We simply relaxed, there was no aircraft what’s a girl to do? We sat and laughed at other passengers. There’s nothing funny about a delayed international flight, your movement and time become dependent on the airline and that’s that. There was one particular passenger that had us in stitches. He was of a tiny built; 1.69m tall at most of Pakistani descent. He was yelling at airline staff. Apparently he had been there for over 24 hours and had spent the night at a hotel. He was so emotional man, the funniest part of it all was (Prays to God to not get punished for this) he spoke in an accent that was difficult to decipher. Laaaark God knows we wanted to assist him in the yelling crusade: Collective yell as the ANC would say. We tried bakithi, we’re South African, ok? We toyi toyi and burn stuff, we tried to understand and fck sht up right there ….collectively but couldn’t understand what he was saying.

Mid-yell, he paused and said something like “Listen (to airline staff), I’m going to the restaurant, I’m coming back” AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH FKFJGJFOPKPG JHGOHDGDH We were finished!!! So lark “I’m taking a break from yelling at your punk ass, I’ll be back. Be scared, be very scared” We couldn’t hide our laughter, that sht was funny. Judge me and smell my armpit while you’re at it AHAHAHAHAHA.

Due to the delays we landed in Bangkok at 8pm a mere fours to midnight. We agreed to check in; shower and hit the streets. It’s Ratchaprasong, the best part of Bangkok, it’s summer, it’s New Year’s Eve: Bloody hell is “Thigh-Land” Thighs were out alright.

      



I met random people and asked to play with their balloons. LOL!!!

Bangkok is the first “holiday” Noz and I have taken together. The past two trips (Kilimanjaro and West Africa) were so populated with activities we went to bed tired every night. Well Kilimanjaro was all about pushing our bodies to death, my Gaaad what were we thinking? We might just do another mountain again soon for good measure HEHEHE. West Africa again was about History and Landmarks within a short period of time. Bangkok, everything was … holiday. Our choice of accommodation; food; drinks and for a change, time was not a factor.

         
FOOD
 
       
 

Our typical day was: Get up at 9am; hit the gym for one hour; shower and walk the city. We had a street map (or rather electronic street map) to navigate. We probably used the Tuk-tuk on our fourth day, we are not so young you know. The body began to complain.  





K-53
 
We were taking one of our long walks when we met two homeless gentlemen fighting over what we assumed was a lady. You must remember now that we do not even understand the local language, all we saw was ching chong chung and a giant knife swung between the two gentlemen. WHOA!! We stopped and walked in the opposite direction. We weren’t gonna involve ourselves. 

 

  • On top of my travel list was Ping Pong Show of course, the less said on this subject the better.
      


                          THE NAUGHTY DISTRICT


  • Another item was the Giant Swing. Let’s just say that “Giant” is relative.

                           
    

Tourism is a major economic factor in the Kingdom of Thailand. According to the internet, Tourism contributes an estimated nine percent to 16 percent towards the GDP. First of all they do not care about your VISA. Just come in and be merry. Thailand has many TV channels to choose from, man they even got VUZU **fixes glasses like that Mdu guy on Date My Family** They sell fake designer stuff in malls like it aint no thang. They DGAF. I love Thailand.  

Like most countries and cities, the richest and poorest live in close proximity. This bridge is your Sandton and Alex kind of set up.

Thai-Japanese Bridge. It separates Sandton from Alex

 
 Highlights/Lowlights/Observations

1.       Travelling with my idiot friend again. We love her

2.       Country with a weaker currency. We divided prices by two for a change. That has been my strategy since 2014 … to only visit countries with weaker currency. Ungaphela

3.       Wearing minimal clothing without people howling “ my size; slender sama catalogue” Argh we showed our legs all day; all night, we came back a few shades darker

       
 


 


MOONLIGHT SONATA WITH BEETHOVEN



4.       Despite diversity in the city of Bangkok, locals looked at us like they had never seen Michael Jackson before. Wait, Michael Jackson was white, ok ok Warbama? Don’t our Instagram boutique owners frequent Bangkok kanti? People, especially kids stared like they had never seen our kind. Funniest incident, we were at the hotel lobby and I caught a young girl staring at me. I intentionally sat closer to her, she ran to her mom LOL!

5.       Flashing Tiger Woods. Argh I could not think of a better pose LMAO

  




7. Ok wait, enough about how good Bangkok was, alcohol is expensive maayne.

Local beer, as is customary



8. At least now we know who trains Beckham LOL
     


                                                                SIGHTSEEING



                                            



  

OUR BOAT LOOKED LIKE A COFFIN SMH

                                      














           

                

STREETS OF BANGKOK


 

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