I killed a snake that day




You call it Reconciliation Day, I call it Blood River Day: Impi yase Ncome. South Africans are so obsessed with reconciliation, Goodbye Rest In Peace to our history. Shaka Day Braai Day; June 16 Youth Month. Go on with your bad selves.
Shaka Day, 24 September used to be a day of recollection and remembrance by the people of KwaZulu. It was a day to remember the King Shaka  a leader and warrior. However, in the prevailing spirit of reconciliation or selling out during the Codesa negotiations, we gave birth to Heritage Day – a day during which all South Africans, irrespective of colour or creed, would together celebrate their heritage. What the hell??!!!
April 2017, Roadtrip with First Lady
Agenda: Funeral and Battlefield route tour
This came totally unplanned. One cannot plan a funeral.  I was not well when the news came but I could not miss THIS funeral. It was the funeral of a special person to someone I love very much.
I decided on a roadtrip and asked my dearest to accompany me. I might not sing her enough praise but that’s my ride or die. 13 years is a long time to put up with me, I’m full of sht.

Destination Ulundi. We took the R34 and got lost along the way and ended up eMgungundlovu, the royal capital of the Zulu King Dingane (1828–1840) ISIGODLO (Royal enclosure for you learned snobs).  I felt like royalty in my Ndebele Blanket. This is my favourite part of any trip, getting lost and finding gems. This is where King Dingane lived with his ladies: his mistresses and female attendants. The King never got married, I stand corrected.


                                                             ISIGODLO



Ok so here’s what happens when you visit ISIGODLO, you register yourself in the office and take a walk or drive to the homestead. We drove as we were pressed for time. A young gentleman that mans the gate there led the way on foot. He spoke with so much respect, he stutters a lot and very good looking.  My thoughts as I watched this young man: He’s young; good looking and he’s a guard and probably has never been beyond 100km radius. No newspapers; no job opportunities. Away from all the things that you and I consider life. Where will he be in the next 2 years? Is this it for him. Does that bother him? I don’t know

Narrow route towards the homestead I spotted a snake slithering across. Listen to me now, I had a choice to a) Fall off the edge or b) Run over the snake. Guess what I did. Ding ding ding YES I RAN OVER THE SNAKE. First lady lifted her feet. Uhm we were inside the car and she lifted her feet. I don’t know eh LOLOL!!!

Look at this beauty man. Long before we lived in this small spaces we call estates and gated communities, this is how people lived in a communal setting. All belonged to all.




It was almost dark by the time reached Ncome, the museum was already closed. We met the caretakers already on their way home. We pleaded with them that we had driven a long way from Johannesburg and all we wanted to see was the village. They said ok and hopped in our car to lead us back to the Museum. Yes, two women gave a lift to two strangers in the outskirts of Dundee. We felt no threat. First of all we were able to negotiate closing times with these guys. They turned back on their way home to their loved ones and offered to let us use the premises of Ncome Museum in their absence and expected nothing in return. All they said was “Sicela nivale amasango uma seniphuma bosisi” Google Translate that. The difference between rural people and people in the city Ubuntu. Before we became consumed with time and money we treated people like people instead of commodities.
Vala Amasango


There are two museums in the premises. Blood River for white people and Ncome for blacks. The difference is exactly that. Blood river museum they still display the old South African flag with pride.  The manager at the Museum shop had these childhood mugs on display but all written in Afrikaans. I asked for a cup with English text. Ek kan nie Afrikaans lees nie Oubaas




Blood River Museum

Ncome Museum
Oom Koos and his old SA Flag





On the way back we spotted THIS: Nandi’s grave.


My late father named me after this beautiful woman, uMama ka Shaka. Ndlovukazi ka Bhebe. I guess my dad thought I’m a Queen and would one day bear a warrior. Sorry Daddy. I had been looking for her grave for over 16months and became more obsessed with its location after his passing.  Google is NOT YOUR FRIEND. We saw the signpost and I could not help myself. We took the route off the R66 outside Eshowe.  We eventually got into a small village and there were no more sign posts. What now? We stopped a few times and asked the locals. You must remember that rural people give you directions in landmarks: Uyasibona lesasihlahla esikhulu mntaka Ma? Ehhe uyaqonda ungajiki LOL! (Google that too)
We had almost given up when I identified tyre tracks. There it was, hidden. Why there are no signposts closer to the grave is beyond me. So much money is already spent on the R66 why not closer to the grave? Surely that would cost far less?
RESPECT


The grave is nothing fancy, well it’s a grave. What matters is life than death. She lived a fulfilling life, we still talk about le Mbokodo centuries later. Nandi Ndlovukazi ka Bhebe. The TV series Shaka is what made me more curious to find out about this lady. The part was acted by Dudu Mkhize, beautiful lady with so much grace, I’d look at her and think that’s me. Bless her.

Nandi Ndlovukazi ka Bhebe

One day is not enough to visit KZN. It is rich in history. I need at least a week.

Highlights/Lowlights/Observations

  1. Stop diluting our history with these new names. 16 December is Blood river. Impi yase Ncome. Say it with me: Ncome 
  2. First lady urinated next to Nandi's grave. A fcking long pee, I swear she had saved it for that particular moment. What level of disrespect is that? LOL I love my friends
  3. Sunrise and Sunset  
Golden skies



                            To the people of KZN, ngiyabonga mina and thank YOU for reading



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