Lake Of Stars 2016: "Not some national road in Malawi"


Lake of Stars takes inspiration from the UK Glastonbury performing arts festival. The founder Will Jameson, a volunteer of Wildlife Society has been running the festival since 2003 with the aim to encourage international tourism to Malawi and using cultural tourism to generate revenue and exposure for Malawian artists to an international audience. If you're a fan of cultural exchange like me, this is your scene. I've been on a mission to tour Africa over the past 5 years and Lake of Stars taking part in Malawi I thought would be a good excuse for me to practise my Chichewa. I do not speak a word of Chichewa mind you LOL. The festival is set on different locations every year along the shores of Lake Malawi as the name says. This year the location was the pristine white sands of Chintheche Inn, 300km north of Lilongwe





 

ROAD TO THE LAKE

12 July 2016, I sent out an invite on social media. Whoever was interested was welcome. All I knew was, I was going with or without company. There was positive response… until I spoke about purchasing flight tickets. You know how that goes… blah blah fish paste.

In the end there were three: OoBabes bezinto


OoBabes baka Wirriam

 

Friday 30 September, OR Tambo airport: tents; sleeping bags and excitement on fleek. We met Mr William, our  driver at Kamuzu airport, Lilongwe and off we went. Google says Chintheche Inn is 300km from the airport and we thought 3 hrs after a 2 hour flight is not bad. It took forever to get there. We made a few stops for cooldrinks and snacks; taking pics and enjoying the landscape.

NEVER TRUST “THE GOOGLE”

 
NKHOTAKOTA
 
   
 



We touched down at Chintheche Inn after sunset, exhausted but nothing could dampen our spirit.

  




Oh we had no idea who was on the line-up by the way, except for Freshly Ground. We had met Zolani upon landing at Kamuzu airport. She informed their performance was on Saturday night, even better news for us as we were planning to leave on Sunday morning to spend the day in Lilongwe.

We found camping spots and erected out tents. Ok ok the first lady and Mr William erected the tents while Mel and I stood there looking pretty **bats eyelashes**

My pink camouflage sleeping bag
 

We went to the show without freshening up of course. There were no showers close by, judge us!!!  #NONKE, #WeDontCuurr. I was disappointed to learn that Malawi does not have locally brewed beer, Carlsberg is their “local beer” I have a ritual, I taste local beer in every country I visit. They do have Malawi Gin however, Mel and first lady loved it. Miss me.

I looked for Malawi cuisine, I wasn’t prepared to eat rice nomngqusho in Malawi. No Sir. I found a stall that sold fire grilled fish and pap or as locally known Chambo/Bhatala and nsima.


 I was shocked when they brought the fish to our makeshift table. It was a whole fire grilled fish, with eyes and tail. It looked like it was about to ask me “So you’re about to eat me, huh?” I’m used to eating a mere fillet not a whole Nemo abeg-ooo. It was so good I ate the entire thing and left only nsimba on the plate. I’m still doing squats and lunges to sweat out that Nemo. We went to bed rather early and slept through the noise from stage, we were bushed. First lady and I were up after 1am, she was restless for some reason and back to the party we went.

We had planned to be first (5h30) at the cold showers the next morning, if you’ve backpacked you’ll understand the reason. The other reason for early morning was to meditate... or rather watch the sunrise

 

LOOK. AT. THIS


 

Day 2, we were done freshening up by 6h30… What to do with our time while we wait for fellow hippies to get up and start performing on stage? We took a walk to the market outside the premises.


They were open and operating at that time of the morning. I was looking for funky pants; Mel for “bag lady” and Carol for Rastafari gear.

The First Lady.
 


Meat and beer at 7am (it was 3pm in Beijing, leave us!!!).



We simply basked in the sun for the rest of the morning, doing absolutely nothing but ogling beautiful people.


This lady put on her bikini and sat on the bar counter all day. Swag!!!



   


     




                            

There’s one beautiful person I recall in particular, a gentleman we named Shaka Zulu. His body looks like Henry Cele’s. I’m sure he grates cheese on his abs. We later established there were two of them, one who walked around half naked the entire weekend and one who worked at the bar and flirted with any and everything that breathes. Their names ended up being Shaka Zulu and Shaka Khan to differentiate. I still don’t know the difference, I wasn’t looking at their faces **shrug**

Disclaimer: I've not attached pics of these two fine specimens here, they don't pay me



Two South African groups performed that night: Native Young and Freshly Ground. We screamed like groupies throughout both performances. Amazing how other nations respond to South African music, they even know the lyrics. Dear South Africans, I am side eyeing you #NONKE



  

Performances
 



I was also touched by a local artist Patience Namadingo, I do not know what he was saying but his powerful voice caught my attention, I was in a trance for a few moments  

 

Day 3, it was time to go home. We had come; seen and conquered. Another cold shower and headed to Lilongwe after a mere 2 hours of sleep.

That's me with a toothbrush. Just to prove that I DID brush my teeth LOL





 STREETS OF LILONGWE

We chose President Walmont as our home in Lilongwe, after two days of cold showers and sleeping on the ground, we sure deserved it. We roamed the streets of Lilongwe, visiting the late President Kamuzu Banda's grave amongst landmarks

  


                              STREETS OF LILONGWE

   


 
Long legs at Capital Hill
President Kamuzu Banda's grave
    
 

He passed on at 100years old
Girls just wanna have fun. Yes, girls . I'm wearing my funky pants
      



Sunset over Bingu Stadium
              

Bingu Stadium
                        

Highlights/Lowlights/Observations

1.    Travelling with cool people once again. We made things up as we went, no whinging and moaning. God knows I would have snuffed a young cigarette on their foreheads otherwise

2.    The festival was not as well organized as we had expected. Oh I found out a few days ago that the festival has been running for 13 years and NOT 30 years as my travel companions had initially thought. We were not there to evaluate them on festival organizing skills however but to have fun. FUN WE DID HAVE

3.    The demographic was rather confusing. There were more Europeans than black people. Most Africans were working instead of being there for the festival. THIS MUST CHANGE

4.    Some girl hitting on me at the bar. LOL not that I discouraged it.

5.    First lady doing Yoga and strategically finding a spot NEXT to Shaka Zulu. We laughed and cheered on AHAHAHA. That despicable Mel probably got Shaka Zulu’s phone number; email; Twitter handle AND ID number while we slept SMH. He did shade a German girl after all

6.    Visiting a fishing village of Kasitu on our way back. We watched how they sun dry fish
This kid caught my attention. Look at the swagger
Sundried fish
       
 
 
   

Photo cred: The First Lady



  


7.    We was rich mmmkay? Blessers of note. Malawi Kwacha is 50: ZAR. We had withdrawn so much money, we walked around with heavy pockets. We did not want to rely on ATMs and run out of money as we had experienced while travelling other African countries

 
 
A white Sangoma. How on earth does he communicate with ancestors? OoChizama would give this man a Black Coffee clap if he even attempted to communicate with them
 
 

 

 

8.    Having nyama choma & roaming the streets of Lilongwe. We had a huge meal, Beef; livers; chicken and nsima. We paid 9800 Kwacha. Translating to R200, I mean!!!

9.    Red sunrise & sunsets




    
 
  10.  Getting stuck on the side of the road on our way to the airport. Let me explain. Our flights took off at 1pm, my two companions (they met for the first time on 30 September btw)flew straight to Johannesburg while I went via Lusaka. We  had asked Mr William to pick us up at 10am from the hotel. He was there as expected, very reliable gentleman. We stopped the first time after identifying a light on the car display. He said the boot is not properly closed or something like that, I was not listening. We drove another 500m and he said the car was overheating though he had watered it on his way to collecting us. Strange!!! We drove another few hundred metres, I could feel the car jerking and we stopped for the third time. He got out of the car once again and phoned an electrician and implemented what ever advise he solicited. He was using car keys to fix the engine, laaark
 
 
I asked Mel, the man of the house to ask William what was going on. The clock did not stop moving you know. This delay had massive implications for us. He could fix the car later but we could not miss our flight. I had two connecting flights to four countries that day: Malawi à Zambia à South Africa à Cape Town. Yes Cape Town is a country LOL! First lady and I got out of the car to nudge him a little and a moment later, two good Samaritans stopped and offered to take us to the airport. Mr William apologized profusely, he had been a star for 3 days man. We weren’t mad at him at all. The time was already after 11am when we reached the airport, but hey we made it. 

 I flew to Lusaka in one of these. Boarding an aircraft with no seating arrangement. First come first served papa. Get up and go to the toilet you find your seat occupied by someone else LOLOL!
      


11.  Hospitality everywhere we went. Malawi is INDEED the Warm Heart of Africa. I do not know how I would have reacted to two strangers offering me a lift in Johannesburg but we accepted the lift to the airport without thinking twice.
 
12. Leaving the festival in high heels, LOL! They couldn't fit in the bags, plus there was too much sand around and I had just washed my feet mmmkay?
 
 

TO CONCLUDE: Malawi has good road infrastructure. No potholes though the roads are narrow. The "not some national road in Malawi" comment I can refute comfortably so



To all the people of Africa, ZIKOMO and thank YOU for reading

 

Dirty sneakers.The measure of how much fun I had


 Soundtrack: Fade by Kanye West or should I say the girl who dances on the video? #FadaGaad

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 





 



 

 

 

 



 



 


 

 

 

 



 

 



 

 

 

 


 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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